When I returned to my home, I had been very surprised by what I found. Bellarose was still there. She had, in fact, moved into the house as she waited for me. Although, she seemed genuinely pleased to see me at first, I could tell something was bothering her. Upon pressing her, she told me that she knew where I had been. She described what had befallen Miles in detail that could only have been possible had she personally witnessed it.
Suddenly, I was reminded of Star, a former member of our coven. She had joined us shortly before that night and left us shortly after. She had been my beloved all along. She and Miles had gotten together to try to extract me from the coven, but had avoided telling me so at Miles' insistence. When their miscalculation sealed Miles' fate, Bellarose had given up on their plan and left me. I thank the gods for that daily. If she had seen the worst of my crimes, I would never have been able to bear it.
But why, I asked, did she come back to this house, where she had every reason to believe I may someday return? It was then that she repeated the words she said to me before my expulsion from Hem.
"I once told you not to lose hope, Gyanda. You may be cursed, but you are also gifted. I have never known a stronger person than you. I knew you would find your way back."
We had both missed much in the last two-and-a-half years, but she allowed me to say what I was willing about my ordeal first. I told her of what happened to Miles before he disappeared and some of the benign spells I learned. I told her, without getting into specific details, about my disgust with some of the things Samson had me do. I then told her about the fight with Seth Midas and how Samson had quelled Garanda's rage and dragged him away. Finally, I talked about how I finally came to the decision to leave the coven. As I spoke, Bellarose listened passively, trying not to show any emotion. But when I finished, she pulled me into the tightest embrace we had ever shared.
“This has all been so unfair, I know, but you can put it behind you now, right?”
I was determined to. I had gone farther than I ever wanted in my rebellion against the gods and, in the end, it had all turned out to be for nothing. It was the magic of Serenity that had finally given me the tool I needed to protect those around me from Garanda's wrath, not blood magic. I understand that no one at the Blackstone Monastery had any knowledge of such a spell, but I couldn't excuse Samson's duplicity. I couldn't remotely fathom why he would have me go to so much trouble to learn spells that were completely unnecessary to me.
“Yes,” I replied tearfully, “I have no further intention of dealing with that cretin.”
I expected Bellarose to hate me for everything I had done, especially my betrayal of our friend. However, she was truly relieved that I had left the coven behind and it wasn't long before she showed me why. In one of the previously unused rooms of the house, there stood a white wooden crib. I was speechless as she walked over to the furnishing and picked up a beautiful baby girl with black hair so like my own. She handed the child to me, introducing her as Maria. As I looked into her eyes, I began to feel sick due to the sudden recollection of the Claire children. But I forced myself not to look away and soon, began to feel a warmth I'd not felt since before I left this house to join Samson.
Maria Lily Maloran, she was called. She would be the first of three extraordinary daughters, who saved me from my darkness and turned my doubts into hope. Kren was born twelve years later, and my youngest, Sarianna, followed another sixteen years later. For thirty years, I lived in bliss with Bellarose and my children, undaunted by the terror of Garanda. The days were filled with bliss as I played games with Maria, impressed Kren with displays of magic, and chased Sarianna throughout the house.
I knew that the happiness could not last indefinitely; not while Samson was still out there. I remembered well his threat to kill me if I left the coven, knowing his name. To a practicing blood mage, no other piece of information is more vital to protect. So, I knew it was only a matter of time before he chose to come for me. I probably should have stayed well away from my family until he was dealt with, but my dearest ladies were the only people for who I could convince myself that the past could be put behind me. It was selfish of me to cling to them so desperately, knowing the danger that my former teacher posed.
I paid for this mistake on the morning of Sarianna's second birthday. I had tried not to leave my family in the time I shared with them up to that point. But after three decades years, I had let my guard down. I had only gone to Beldor for a last-minute gift. When I returned, my home had been turned over and was empty. I knew that my greatest fear had been realized. Among the wreckage, I found the only clue I needed:
“I await you at the place you discovered my name.”
The location was not far. I found Samson Amul in the Hilltop Inn, our young hamlet's only lodge. Such a public place seemed an odd location for a blood mage to request a meeting, but there were no witnesses. I arrived to discover that a blood bath had been made of the innkeeper and the lodgers. This violent display deepened my sense of foreboding. When the blood mage showed himself, he paraded my wife and children in full display before him. They all seemed miraculously unhurt at first glance, but seemed to be locked into some sort of trance. Samson wasted little time in getting to the point.
“I will give you one chance, Gyanda,” Samson said with an unambiguous air of disdain. “This family of yours is standing in the way of your greatness, so you are going to bleed them all dry and return to the coven. For a man like you, there can only be greatness or death.”
Even after everything I had done with this man, I had the good sense to be insulted by this proposition. I only responded by cutting my own palm to erect a barrier over the hostages with my own blood. There would be no going back. Even if I must give up every drop of my own life force, I was determined to stop Samson Amul from harming my family.
“You truly are a prodigy,” Samson crooned, “It has taken nearly every member of our coven, even myself, decades to learn what you've mastered in such a short time. With your gift for magic, you could be the first mortal to achieve the splendor of the gods you claimed to hate! You are wasting your potential!”
Knowing the truth, I could only scoff at his pronouncement. “I have no reason to hate the gods any longer. I know that the spell you used to banish Garanda was a Serene spell!”
Samson grinned amusedly. “So what? Do you honestly believe that you would have figured that out without learning from me? Just how did you figure out how I cast my spell? Tell me, Gyanda. How far, exactly would you have gone to best your inner demon?”
Of course he knew, I thought then. “I have done terrible things I will never be able to undo. All while you told me that I must in order to learn a spell I could have cast the day I met you.”
“You had to learn! You now wield very essence of humanity itself! You have the potential to become the strongest living being, human, elf or even god! Your rage is the hope of our glorious revolution!”
“My rage is strongest toward you now!” I spat angrily. “You used me! You manipulated my anger to fuel your own desire of overthrowing the Fadalians!
I unleashed the full fury of my disillusionment on Samson, fueled by the indignity of being misled so easily. His scowl deepened with every word as my lack of intention to rejoin the coven became clearer and clearer. Finally, he could stand no more. He cut open his palm and flung a lance of his own blood toward me. I reacted, not with more blood magic, but the conjuration of wall of flame. My old magic had weakened from neglect, but it stopped the lance.
With my blood protecting my family, I had few reservations against throwing the full weight of the rest of my skills against Samson. Although I had improved in my control of magic since training with Samson, I had not developed the power of any of these spells. With only traditional magic to rely on, I had not fared better than I did the first time I opposed him. This time, when I fell against his superior force, I had no hope that he would spare me. As I lay there, prepared to die, Bellarose threw off the spell that bound her in trance. Her eyes welled with tears as I struggled on the ground before him.
Cornered, I saw only one option. I knew that it could be my undoing. I knew that it would not guarantee the safety of my wife and children. I also knew that it was the only way I could stop Samson once and for all. I held out my split hand, spilling far more of my blood than I ever had before. The blood strengthened my barrier, hardening it to the strength of steel. With my strength drained, I soon blacked out.
When I awoke, Samson was gone, the inn appeared to have been ripped apart board by board, and my family was still trapped in the barrier. The girls had awakened from Samson's trance, and had begun to wail in terror. Bellarose screamed my name, willing me to get up and release them. I held a shaking palm to the outside of the barrier and recalled as much of the blood as I possibly could. The barrier vanished, allowing my dearest ladies to reach me. I had won, but I only had the vaguest idea as to how it had transpired. When everything had settled, Bellarose told me what I had missed.
With my life drained, Garanda emerged as I had planned. Samson was initially amused by my gambit, but far less so after he tried to banish the spirit once more. The spell failed, owing as Garanda had said, to the trembling in Samson's hands. So powerful was the terrifying aura that we cast, that direct eye contact interfered with his casting. It made sense, when I thought of it. Samson could only banish the spirit when our back was turned to him. Now, facing our gaze directly, he was powerless. Garanda ripped through the building with a heavy blade I'm quite sure I never owned in his fierce pursuit of Samson. Lacking the ability to fight back, Samson fled. Garanda's rage turned toward my family, but my barrier held firm as I had hoped. With no way to sate his bloodlust, he gave up and vanished.
For the first and only time, I used my adversary as Samson used me. Knowing the spell that banished him, I knew I would not fall to the same trap that the blood mage did. Knowing that I could use Garanda in this way made certain that Samson would not bother me again. He acknowledged my potential long before then, and now had every reason to fear me. But my victory had come at a cost. My daughters feared me. It took a long time for them to trust me again and even longer for me to forgive myself. I very nearly lost everything because I gave in to the despair that my curse brought upon me. Now that I know what I have to lose, I am oddly filled with hope.
From that day, I lived under the impression that I am in full control of the demon. I have not since been confronted with the need to banish Garanda, so I can never be sure that this is true. One thing I knew for certain is that I would never again allow my curse to interfere with my life. Although my childhood dream was forever gone, I found a new one in my dearest Bellarose. Nothing remained to stand in the way of my happiness beside the memories of time wasted on my atrocious experiments. But there was one more loose end that I had to take care of.
No comments:
Post a Comment